How little He alloweth me of her, It is, but peaceful and then more;
He giveth me just a taste, a reminder, A reminder that I couldn’t have such enchantress, O beauty a beauty she is.
He would tempt me with such gestures,
Or evil acts if I may;
Showing something that one couldn’t have, giving a tiny speck but not whole;
the cruelest possible way.
Like Death to a man who craves it,
Because in pain;
I crave her;
I crave her because He reminds me who she is.
He reminds, by an illusion, how she feels;
The soft touch of her lips;
What sin hath committed I, to bear such torment?
To forget but be reminded and suffer more?
A reminder so I could not forget, her dark magnificent allure;
Enough to just consume me, and then He throws me awake.
Ever came across an insomniac? If not, I am going to save you the trouble of comprehending what ‘Sleep’ means to an insomniac. Sleep is not just a thing he has access to the moment he gets into his bed. It’s more like a far-fetched theory, he wishes to prove every single night.
Ever craved something so vigourously that you were afraid you might actually get it? But what if it’s taken away, just after the moment you witnessed Beauty as it exists? That’s sleep for an insomniac. The next time, he thinks twice before he goes to rest. What if it’s taken away, again, not so differently than the last encounter? The next such powerful desire you face, you are uncertain if you should entertain such cruelty. But can you control it? Can you in fact, resist the enchantress that lures you, deceives you over and over again?
Have you ever been forced to stand on the edge of a well, and then muscled into it, only to catch you again before you take the fall? Psychologically ofcourse, but believe me when I say, it terrifies you the same. That’s how it is, fighting, resisting the very thing you once craved, until you fall for it again. Until Sleep consumes you, and then you are thrown awake.